Sunday, January 30, 2011

And time keeps on tickin'.. tickin'.. tickin'.. into the future!

It's been crazy the past few weeks, settling into the work routine, watching our little boy grow and develop and dealing with another pregnancy.WOW! We thought last year few by while I was pregnant with Matthew. I can't imagine what this year is gonna be like, being pregnant AND rasing a child in his first year of life. Is it September already??

Matthew is getting to be so independent, he like to sit straight up supported by pillows or while being held and he LOVES to stand up. We bought him a walker and he loves it, he likes the freedom of standing without us having to hold him. He's eating a little bit of rice cereal now, and he seems to like it. I don't like to give him alot in his bottle but he wants he gets it you can't even take it away to burp him without him screaming at you.

As far as the new baby not much on that front, I have an ultrasound in two weeks, and for some reason I am really nervous about it but totally relaxed about being pregnant. It's kind of weird not to be announcing to everyone that we are pregnant, we will in good time. I am sure everyone will be pretty shocked since Matthew is still so little. I truely believe that if it was meant to happen it will happen and we didn't do anything to "help" ourselves get pregnant this time and it happened so I think we were meant to go on this adventure together.

Well, stay tuned for more in a while.   Jennifer

Friday, January 21, 2011


So last weekend, I am sitting around talking to a girlfriend on the phone and I happen to look at the date and something inside me starts SCREAMING. I calmly tell her to hold on as I do some quick math in my head. Then, not believing my math skills I get online and look it up. Well, what I discover is that I am three days-LATE.

OMG, OMG is all I can think I already KNOW the answer to the question my head is asking my body, I don't know how I know, but I know.

My next thought is: How am I going to tell my Paull? I don't have any grace in these situations so I blurt it out the second he gets home. "I think I am pregant.. I am three days late" He doesn't really say much except he does agree we should get a test to be sure.

To make a long story short. ( TOO LATE) This is what we found out the next day.

So, needless to say we were a bit shocked but overall, we feel really blessed. We love our son and we love kids and we always wanted more so this is just sooner than we expected. We have decided not to tell alot of people just yet only because we want to wait till I am furthur along. I should be almost 5 weeks now.I have already had my progesterone levels check and just like with my other pregnancies it's low. So I started Prometrium to help the growing bean-grow. I have my first OB appt on 1/26. Fingers crosses my doctor doesn't bitch slap me for getting pregnant so soon after having my son.



Friday, January 7, 2011

I wish I was a poet...

If I was a poet I could compose some flowery, emotion filled poetic masterpiece to describe how I am feeling. But, alas NOT EVEN CLOSE-BUD.

SO here is goes anyways: I am feeling really smushy today. I was thinking as I sat in my livingroom holding my whining, spit up covered son that there was NOTHING in this world- I would rather be doing. I could have sat there for eternity holding him and smelling him, even covered in spit up and baby sweat.

His cubby fingers in his mouth drooling, or the look of accomplishment he gets on his face when I help him stand on his own. He thinks that is cool! He looks so determind, like he is really doing it on his own and how proud of himself he is.

I recently showed or taught I guess you could say, him how to stick out your tongue.. HA HA.. much to the chagrin of my husband.. WHAT.. it's cute!


Honestly, I didn't ever think I would feel like this, like SO attached to someone. Most of my life taught me to only depend on yourself so, I have always valued myself above all others, including my husband ( don't get the wrong idea-I love him but.. myself a tad bit more). Well that was all blown to shit when Matthew came along. At first my mind had a hard time adjusting to the idea that after so many years of hoping and trying I was finally somebodies mother. Let me say that again... I was someone's MOM! Freaky! I have always been-Auntie and for a time I was content with that but then I got pregnant and my world flipped upside down and inside out on it's self.  Slowly as time has ticked on and I have gotten to know my little guy, his quirks, attitude, and sense of humor I have fallen for him-hook, line and stinker. ;)

Seriouly, Look at him. Paull and I ask ourselves nearly everyday how the hell we made such a beautiful child. It makes me want to have more just to see how beautiful they would be too.

I never dreamed or imagined that I would love someone so much. This is everything in the world I ever wanted for myself. Every childhood fantasy come true. I am MOM.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

2011... So I guess I'll try blogging?!?!?


A friend of mine suggested I start blogging- SO, here it goes.

2010 was an amazing year for me and my family. Paull (the hubbie) and I celebrate our 10 year wedding anniversary but not before we found out that after 10 years respectivly, we were in the family way! I knew 2010 was gonna be our year when in 2009, at Christmas I made a vow to myself to stop at nothing in the coming year to get pregnant. Well, I'm be damned-IT WORKED.

February 2010

The months ticked by as they always do, milestone after milstone we hit. Viablity-Check, Heartbeat-Check, Penis-CHECK ...etc. (We found out at 20+ weeks it was a boy!) We decided to name him Matthew James Leo, cause Skeletor Durbin didn't quite have a ring to it. (j/k) Matthew for gift from God, James after the hubbie and his dad and Leo after my dad.

7 weeks                                                             

20 weeks 3 days

So, as I said the year dragged on but finally on October 20 2010 after being in labor for over 24 hours Matthew was delivered via c-section and came in weighing 8lbs 12 oz and 21 inches long.

Just born. Gotta love that face!

Proud Papa!

Love at first sight!

So now here we are in 2011 and my twelve weeks of maternity are up and I am not a happy girl. I get sick everytime I think about leaving him. We have a very nice babysitter but it still pisses me off that I didn't try harder thoughout the year to figure out a way to stay home with my precious cargo. SO, I sit here day after day-in turmoil loving the days I have left with my son but dreading them cause I know they are numbered and soon I will be returning to work. Sometimes, I am SUPER sad, other times PISSED. I feel like I am going thru the cycles of grief, only never gettting to the acceptance part. I am hoping this blog will help. Guess only time will tell.

Till next time..