I miss my friends, it's as simple as that!!

October was a great month. Well, so was Septemeber seeing as I gave birth to my daughter but back to October. October was a great month because my parents came to visit and so did BOTH of my BFF's.

Amy came to visit at the same time as my folks, and Ashley came a few weeks later. I forgot what it felt like to have friends so close. I mean, Yes-we talk on the phone almost every single day but having them both here was WAAAY better.

I love each of them in different ways:

Amy has been my friend since I was 15. We met freshman year of high school and never looked back. After high school-SHIT!- we tore it up.. we were just as badass as the bad boys we hung with. She is the friend who knows all my secrets.

15 Years old

17 years old

We have seen each other thru good times, bad times, and everything in between. We have our own lanugage so that we can talk to each other and know what they other is saying when we don't want anyone else to know. I feel so honored to call her my best friend especially after 19 years!

19 years old

29 years old

Now Ashley, is kinda a different story. It sounds bad to say but a mutual hatred of someone brought us together (long story). It isn't the glue that binds our relationship anymore and hasn't been for some time but it was definatly a stepping stone on our friendship "path", so to speak. See, Ashley is the wife of Justin, who has been my friend for about 15 years. He was 15 when I met him and was a groomsmen in mine and Paull's wedding. I had heard about her casually over the phone one night while talking to Justin about his love life. His exact quote was "Jen, I think I found-THE ONE". I officially got to meet Ashley in 2003 and we slowly started to become close.

2007 in Murrieta

After they were married and Ashley found out she was pregnant with their son Ethan, they asked me to be his godmother. Something I truely charish to this day. Once Ethan was born we started talking almost everyday and fast forward to now, she is one of two of my closest friends ever. I can go to her with anything and same for her and no matter what it is we-never-judge each other.

2009 in Seattle

It's nice to have a close friend with kids (she has 3) cause she understands all the ups and downs of day to day life with a child. She gives me advice and has talked me down on alot of occassions when I was pregnant and freaking out.

I wish both Amy and Ashley lived closer but I think if they did we would ALL be in alot of trouble. I am not sure my husband could handle it!!!!

1 Year old!!!

One year ago today, my life changed more than I could have ever expected it to. I gave birth (via c-section) to my beautiful son, Matthew James Leo.

I had been waiting so long to have a child and I had no idea how I was going to feel when he was born, but when I heard him cry for the first time-I cried along with him. I had never seen something so perfect in my life. When my husband held him to me I whispered in his ear how long I had waited for him and how much I already loved him. Then they wisked him away with his daddy to be cleaned up.

In the recovery room my husband wheeled him in to me in his little bassinet and all I could do is stare at him. I couldn't move the lower half of my body, and was shaking uncontrollably from the medication but I could look at him.

I could hardly wait to hold him so I willed my limbs to move so that I could go to my room and hold this beautiful little baby. He was so calm in his bassinett just staring right back at me and I just talked to him like I had done for the previous 9 months. He seemed to know my voice and just listened.

I finally got to hold my baby. I was totally exhausted from being in labor the night and day before but he was worth ever single second.

The last year has gone by so fast. From rolling over to crawling to eating food and finally walking, oh and adding a baby sister to the mix, Matthew has brought nothing but joy to the lives of myself and my husband. We watch him grow and thank one another for the amazing gift we gave to each other. We can't wait to see what the future brings and continue to watch our little boy grow up!

HOLY CRAP!

OMFG... It's way harder than I thought to raise two kids under the age of one. If Emma's not crying and needing my attention, then Matthew is. HOLY CRAP! Most days I don't get outta my PJ'S.. if I do it's just to shower. Emma is a screaming, which I figured since her first breath was a scream. HOLY CRAP! Matthew is trying to walk and is into everything.. litterally EVERYTHING.-Plants, kitchen cabinets, closets, the laundry room. He has to touch everything, the remote the volume for the TV, the stereo on button. HOLY CRAP!

..............................................but this.....................................this makes it all worth it.

They are the sweetest, most beautiful things I have ever seen in my whole life and I never, in a million years, believed I would be so blessed and that my heart could hold so much love for two people. For all the trips and tumbles Paull and I go thru in raising these two precious angels-looking into their faces and seeing a little piece of each of us or getting a smile and kiss makes everything worth it. HOLY CRAP... I love my kids!!

Jen