Tuesday, April 12, 2011

The breath I breathe..

I woke up in the middle of the night last night to see my phone screen illuminated with a text message. I read it and was immediatly heartbroken. A friend of my sisters lost one of her twin infant sons yesterday. I instantly ran my hand over my growing belly and said a prayer for their family and for mine. I rolled over and shinned the light on my sleeping son's head and listened to the soft sound of his breathing and said a Thank you to the powers that be for allowing me to be a mother.

Getting pregnant was never easy for me, then once it was, keeping the pregnancy was the difficult part. I have been pregnant 4 times, including now. I have lost two babies to this body of mine, for whatever reason. I can't even begin to tell you the pain associated with losing a pregnancy. Having successfully given birth to Matthew, nearly 6 months ago only makes to thought of it happening again that much more painful. To know the joy of having a child, growing it and feeling it move and kick inside of you. The first time you see the child smile, hear their cry, soothe their pain. It's amazing.

This last week we had another scare with this pregnancy. Thank the powers that be that it was nothing that antibiotics can't help to cure, it was still so scary.

All in all nothing is really new with us. Just plugging away as we await the new baby and the early milestones of our little boy. Praying everyday that all goes well for us and that everything will be ok with this new little one. Oh, we find out on 5/5/11 if it's a sitter or a stander!!!! Can't wait!