Holy Mary, Mother of God....

Wow, haven't blogged in a while. Nothing like being up at 2:00 am on a Saturday to motivate you, right. (Insert eye roll here!)

Well, Well where to begin... let's see. SO much has been happening. My pregnancy is going very well. Little miss thing will be getting served her eviction papers on Sept. 16th. I swear it can not come fast enough. I want to see her and hold her. We have her nursery all completed, still looking for some odds and ends items but basically she is good on everything. The girl already has more clothes than I do-sad!

24-25 weeks mark

Her big brother is doing really great. Matthew started a new daycare in the middle of July and he loves it. After the second day there he started sleeping thru the night!! He eats like a piggy there and has started standing on his own and really wants to walk. It's an in home place and I LOVE the owner. She has three girls herself the youngest is only a few weeks old and she has two full time helpers. In addition to giving us a a nice break in the price she really cares about Matthew. They all love him and can't stop telling me what a good baby he is.  They have been encouraging all this development and he just moves all the time.. Crawling fast as lightening now.It's crazy. I am still hoping he will be walking by the time Emma is here but I am not going to hold my breathe. He will walk when he wants to. I mean he isn't even 10 months yet-I guess I need to be patient.

on the way to Ocean Shores, WA

Paull and I are doing wonderful, finances have been tough but oddly enough we work it out, with the help of somone above watching over us. I don't know how we are going to do it with two children but we made this life so we have to live it. I am so excited to be having another child. I told him the other day I think I would like to have just one more. NOT 11 months apart like Matthew and Emma will be but maybe down the road in a few years it would be nice to have another one. It's funny what having a child can do to your relationship. Ours has become so much stronger, in every aspect.. the loving, the communication.. and of course the arguing. HA. We have always been good at that-that and making up!! Paull is such an amazing dad. Matthew is so head over heels about his dad I am almost jealous. Now, Paull brags that he will soon have his daughter here too to love on and that I can't WAIT to see. She is already a little fighter I can tell. He will rub my belly and she will kick so he will nug back and she will fight him, via kicking the crap outta me. HAHA. I keep telling him, she is gonna be a handful.

at Oceans Shores, WA

We do have some bad news to report. After 9 1/2 wonderful years our beautiful dog, Cleo had to be put to sleep. Cleo had pyometra-an infection in her girl parts that was, according to the doctors very severe. They couldn't even tell us if she would make it out of surgery. The infection goes thru their system very rapidly and before we knew something was REALLY wrong we had waited to long to take her to the vet. It was the hardest decision I have ever-ever had to make. After hours of aggonizing over it Paull and I decided that euthanasia was our only option. Cleo was too sick to make it thru surgery in our opinion that was after consulting two different doctors. She had lost 3-5 pounds in a very short amount of time and was listless and weak. It would have taken a very strong dog to make it thru the surgery they were recommending, with no guarantee of survival. I miss her SO much. I have not been able to stop thinking of her or crying over her since this happened. I know her pain is over but ours has only just begun. I miss you my Tus-Bus.. forever!

<3 miss you baby!

So as to note end this blog on a sour, sad note. I am very happy to say that my girlfriends are coming to visit me soon. I think Amy will be here in Sept to help me with Emma after she comes home and Ashley is coming for Matthews first birthday. I can't wait!!! I am so excited to see my girls. I miss them. Talking on the phone everyday isn't enough anymore and with getting pregnant back to back as I did we haven't been able to go on our normal yearly vacation to Cali to visit anyone. My parents are also coming up this year the week before Matthew turns 1 to see everyone so basically I am getting spoiled!!

Well, I think that is about it for now. Maybe I can finally get my brain to shut down long enough to get some much needed rest. Stay tuned for more.. Love to all!

Jen

Time flies......

I can't believe how much this past year has really flown. When I was first pregnant with Matthew the first 20 weeks crept by at a snails pace. Once he was born though, it seemed in no time I was going back to work and then finding out I was expecting #2. We have decided to name this little girl Emma Charlotte Brielle Durbin.. and I can't even begin to say how the time has flown by with her. I was 20 weeks in the blink of an eye. I just went to the doctor yesterday and she is growing really well. She is in the 50% percentile like her brother and once I have my last appt in June I start going back every two weeks and I am amazed we are "here" already.


I haven't even started on her room yet. I don't know how we are going to fit two kids AND all their crap in this house with all of our crap. LOL. I also can't believe that in 3 1/2 months I will once again be going in to get sliced and diced and have another kid. Lord, what am I going to do with two??? MR. Matthew is a hand full all by himself. I told Paull that these two kids are definatly some cement in our relationship cause they have certainly tied us together in a whole new way, more than our love or even marriage has tied us together.

It's gonna be so different adding another baby to the mix but it feels so right, like we will finally be complete. I just can't believe that I am dumb enough to punish myself with yet ANOTHER summer-PREGNANT.

YIKES!!! ;)

Reflecting..

Wow, things have been so insanely busy lately. Working, being pregnant and working :) and taking care of a very active 7 month old isn't as easy as I thought it would be. I guess nothing ever is though. So far, after a few bumps in the road this new pregnancy has turned out to be pretty typical for being pregnant with a girl. I am a firm believer that being pregnant with a girl and a boy is 100% different. I have never been more excited though. When I imagined myself pregnant for all these years I always thought I would have a girl first. I was really happy to have Matthew first-to give my husband a boy and he is definatly the light of our lives but now that we know we are having a girl I feel-complete. Like our family is complete.

Matthew is a typical 7 month old, I suppose. He is trying to crawl although he is only at the stage I like to call "humping the air" his primary source of movement is rolling every where. It's hysterical.

He is now in 9-12 month old clothes! I can't even believe it and he is a really good eater. He loves everything. We recently gave him air puff snacks and of course he loves those too.

I can't wait to meet my baby girl!! We have decided to call her Emma. The name just came to me and if feels right. We kicked around a few boy names but they all felt wrong so I pretty much KNEW I was having a girl.

When we went to the doctors office for our ultrasound I have never been more nervous.. not even when I was PG with Matthew. She measured every possible thing she could before asking us what WE thought it was a few times during the session my heart jumped into my throat thinking it was a boy but then when she paused the machine I KNEW!! Right there in black and white were little girl parts. I was over the moon. Paull... Paull was so nervous. It was pretty funny.

I can't wait to buy pink things and decorate her room. I am so excited for her and Matthew to be siblings and friends and for her to wrap us all around her little finger. So, heres to having a successful rest of my pregnancy!!! I can't wait!!!

Jennifer

The breath I breathe..

I woke up in the middle of the night last night to see my phone screen illuminated with a text message. I read it and was immediatly heartbroken. A friend of my sisters lost one of her twin infant sons yesterday. I instantly ran my hand over my growing belly and said a prayer for their family and for mine. I rolled over and shinned the light on my sleeping son's head and listened to the soft sound of his breathing and said a Thank you to the powers that be for allowing me to be a mother.

Getting pregnant was never easy for me, then once it was, keeping the pregnancy was the difficult part. I have been pregnant 4 times, including now. I have lost two babies to this body of mine, for whatever reason. I can't even begin to tell you the pain associated with losing a pregnancy. Having successfully given birth to Matthew, nearly 6 months ago only makes to thought of it happening again that much more painful. To know the joy of having a child, growing it and feeling it move and kick inside of you. The first time you see the child smile, hear their cry, soothe their pain. It's amazing.

This last week we had another scare with this pregnancy. Thank the powers that be that it was nothing that antibiotics can't help to cure, it was still so scary.

All in all nothing is really new with us. Just plugging away as we await the new baby and the early milestones of our little boy. Praying everyday that all goes well for us and that everything will be ok with this new little one. Oh, we find out on 5/5/11 if it's a sitter or a stander!!!! Can't wait!

Tick, tick, tick

So Far, life is just plugging away lately. Nothing real new is up in the Durbin household. The new baby is growing fast and I haven't had another episode of bleeding. (None red, at least) Doctor says that is good. Got to see the baby wiggling at my last appointment. I don't go in for another 4 weeks so, we will just have to hold on and believe everything will be ok.

Mr. Matthew is growing like a stinkin' weed. He is eating baby food finally. He pretty much loves anything we put in his face. He hasn't tried any veggies yet but we are just getting the "food thing" into a routine.

This friday, Paull and I, will be celebrating our 11th wedding anniversary. 11 Years. I can't believe it's been 11 years. Sometimes it seems longer sometimes shorter. I couldn't imagine what life would be like without my soul mate. I love him so much.

Life is hopefully getting back to normal for us we had a bit of strange luck for the past few weeks but like everything in life we make an adjustment. Wish us luck! <3

Jennifer